Stopping Birth Control, Beginning Fertility Awareness Method

First things first, this is not a mommy diary. No shade, but this is still a contraceptive-focused journey. I decided that I wanted to go a more natural route for birth control, and also commit to really learning my body for the long-term. I’m very new to this, so I have by no means perfected this. I just want to share my story. Let’s get into it.

Background

I started birth control (BC) in my late twenties to remain baby-free. Fortunately, I have pretty predictable cycles. I experience pain and discomfort that I’ve just managed since day one with OTC medicines. I was on my BC for almost two years and I didn’t notice any real issues, but also didn’t get much cycle relief. Everything was chill until those final few months before I quit the first time. I noticed that I was experiencing more frequently allergic reactions and unexplained inflammation than I had before. One reaction was so bad that I needed to rush to urgent care in the wee hours of the morning because I was in so much pain. I also had begun experiencing more serious issues with my vision. Come to find out I had retinal detachment, but things had definitely accelerated in a short span of months. That was it, I was over it. I stopped wearing my patches cold turkey (in the midst of a celibate engagement).

Fast forward, I decided to give it another go because unfortunately I’m not really wowed by the other longer-term options available, and daily anything is not for me. My inflammation came back more than I had experienced since stopping the first time. I wasn’t playing with it.

That led me to explore more about cycle tracking. I had heard a little bit about the fertility awareness method (FAM) in the past, but again, didn’t trust my own discipline at the time. Faced with no other options medically I felt comfortable with, I started buying books. Here’s my current list of FAM / menstrual cycle reads:

• The Fifth Vital Sign

• Beyond the Pill

• In the FLO

Not only have these books opened my eyes about a new form of birth control, but honestly have highlighted how little I knew previously about my own reproductive system. I didn’t fail health class or even college-level human biology, but it’s clear not enough time is spent on educating ovary-owners about what is happening. And also, what is very much in our control. We do not have to just sit around every month and just take it.

I recommend starting with the first book and buying her companion workbook to start tracking.* Even if you’re not ready to stop your BC yet, you can use it to get more acquainted with the factory down there. I’ve realized that I’m probably missing key nutrients. It’s past time to look into pelvic floor therapy. Plus, tracking what’s going on there is not that hard or disruptive to daily life. The book points out we’re conditioned to fear getting pregnant the whole month when it’s normally only a weeklong chance. We also neglect how the other stages of our cycle impact or are impacted by our daily living.

The Journey So Far…

I’m one full cycle into tracking (period to period), and I’m not pregnant. (LOL) No, but really, I’m paying a lot better attention to how my body feels throughout the month and what that might mean. Am I hydrated enough? Do I need to adjust my vitamins/supplements? Am I getting enough sleep? Which ovary is ovulating this month? Do we need to put a pause on bedroom activities? I’m still battling random inflammation, so this is the first step to determining what’s wrong and getting my body back in balance. I’m just grateful that I have a better idea of what the heck is going on and the nerd me actually thinks it’s pretty cool. I’m eager to even looking more into productivity planning and my cycle. More on this through one of my go to IG accounts @Berrionlberry.*

I’ll keep y’all posted, but first step is to buy and read at least one of those books. Then, start tracking what you notice even if you need your BC to help with other symptoms right now. I cannot give medical advice, but stopping cold when you’re using it for multiple purposes could backfire. Start with your doctor, even if they may not be team FAM. Also, for those considering using this as BC, emergency contraceptives and non-hormonal options exist. Don’t play yourself please! (LOL)

Get in the flow!

*This post is not endorsed by or affiliated with this business/coach/author just something I’ve found on the journey.

Where have I been... 2022 in Review

This blog is becoming very reminiscent of my personal journal with the month long hiatuses. (Well year in this case, but who’s counting?)

As I’ve said from the beginning, this is a lifestyle blog that authentically shows life life-ing to hopefully help you navigate your own journey. And I’ll tell you what, 2022 has been a journey in and of itself. Here’s the highlight (and lowlight) reel to get you up to speed.

Becoming the Mrs.

This September, I upped the ante on my hot girl retirement and jumped the broom. Wedding planning is indeed NOT for the faint of heart. I pray that you and I only have to go through that experience one time and one time only. However, it truly was one of the greatest days of my life. Top two and not number two. Something about proclaiming your love (and ugly crying) in front of hundreds of people, dancing the night away in the most beautiful outfit you’ve ever worn and endless libations—magical. If you want to learn more about the big day, head over to Indy Black Brides. (Yeah, I launched another business with my wedding planner this year too.)

Leveling Up My Career

I do not apologize for being an ambitious millennial woman who desires nice things and the funds to get them. Like plenty of other Americans, I looked at my situation and surrounding opportunities and decided to join the Great Resignation—twice. I’m in a new role that finally doesn’t have me living paycheck to paycheck, and allows me the mental space to plot actual financial freedom and wealth goals. I joined the six-figure club before 30 in a completely unconventional path for my industry, and I’m honestly still too shocked to brag. Now, inflation’s still a b___, but at least I can afford groceries, trips and putting all my bills on autopay. #Blessed Kim, who ain’t working?

The Downside

The good Lord lets it rain on the just and the unjust, so this year was by no means all roses. Mentally I started the year off rough. I was coming out of my first round of COVID. I had such a bad case of burnout it led me to finally seeking a late diagnosis of ADHD. I was trying to wrap my head around why weddings were so hard and expensive. Just team too much in the new year. And then this summer in a span of days—barely weeks, I got in my first car accident. I caught COVID, again. It was on my BIRTHDAY, y’all! And the night of my bridal shower I lost my grandmother who had suddenly took ill at the beginning of June. The same grandmother I had rushed out of town to see two days prior for my final goodbyes at her deathbed. It was rough, and I still had to be “on” in the midst of these things. I’m so grateful for my support system during that time, as well as the life experiences up to that point that somehow prepared me to keep going. #Grateful

The Usual

I still found time for the experiences that make me happy. I still stamped that passport a few times. Explored things around the city. Got to the bag. Laughed with loved ones. Supported others. Let my creative juices flow. Gave myself grace. And most importantly, I tried to focus on the beauty on the other side of it all. When you look at your 2022 in review I hope you do the same. The 2023 you depends on it. #Onward

Cheers!

BBN Collab: Women-Owned Pop-Up Shop Recap

Am I alone in feeling like the holiday spirit is running a little behind? I still don’t have a Christmas tree up, but I surely have been shopping! Luckily, there have been pop-ups galore, which have allowed me to support some wonderful small businesses in my community. The latest one I attended was hosted by The Boss Babe Network. Mariah and crew’s events are always a premium experience so I couldn’t miss out on the invitation!

The Women-Owned Holiday Extravaganza was hosted at the 10 East Arts Hub on the Near Eastside of Indy. This was my first time at this venue and it was perfect! There were boss women lined up throughout the space, a bar setup in the back (more on that in a minute), plus DJ Grapevine was holding it down on the ones and twos. It was a WHOLE vibe vup in there! Now let’s getting into the damage!

There was such a wide diversity of products available at this event. Sometimes larger pop-ups intimidate me because there will be five candle sellers, four boutiques, two turtle doves. You get what I mean. This had a manageable volume of merch as a shopper where I could truly support almost everyone there based on who I was shopping for or at least learn about their businesses. (Tip: Even if you don’t make a purchase, shout the business out if they had something that caught your eye. Someone else may purchase!)

My Haul

1. Repurposed Black Enamel Channel necklace from Small Batch No. 3

2. Black Girl Joy Notebook Print by Faith Blackwell Photography (featuring the lovely Idalia!)

3. The infamous Rich Bitch Oil from Bohemian Virtue (It has real dollar shreds in it!)

4. Stemless Wine Glass from Boss Babe Network

5. Crown Care Hydrating Hair Tea by Naturally Adira (Check out my #BrittBuysBlack post here.)

6. Two-piece Dream Come TRUE set by My TRUE Brand (It’s so comfy, y’all!)

7. Cute Christmas Socks from Bella Curve Clothing Boutique (BSquared is an ambassador!)

8. Signature Body Butter from ROJOrganics (So good that I met up that week to get a bigger one!)

9. Protect Candle and Ascend Bath Salt from Three Dope Souls (They both smelled so great!)

10. The ABCs of HBCUs book sold by Black Worldschoolers Mobile Bookstore

Now everything pictured above isn’t it! Bella Bee-tique was in the building with her fabulous outfits—and ring light on deck! There was also custom resin creations from Jazz Creatrix! A beautiful chill scene created by Poshnic Experience. On top of that, there were food and beverage vendors! Sip and Share Wines was in the house. Ruby (a boss in her own right) poured me a lovely glass of the Manifest chardonnay created by her aunt to enjoy while I shopped. Taste Budz Indy also pulled up on us with her food truck. Oh, and there was a gift wrap station powered by Mariah’s cute little helpers! Literally, what else do you need in a shopping experience? This was a great way to spend my Saturday afternoon.

Thanks again Boss Babe Network for hosting another event that amplifies Black-owned and women-owned businesses! My stocking is surely stuffed, and this helped me spend my Black dollars in my own community for the holidays!

‘Tis the Season to #ShopSmall and #BuyBlack!

Britt

What Fuels Your Drive to Escape?

You know there’s that saying, “Live a life you don’t need a vacation from.” Well, much easier said than done. I too, don’t dream of labor. However, the reality is day to day life comes with a matching set of challenges and trials. It’s natural to want to go away and grab some air sometimes. Suspend reality for even just a day.

Me enjoying the beautiful pink sand beaches of Bermuda!

Now some folks go about that a variety of different ways. Sometimes it’s hobbies, could be foods/substances (be real careful with that) or even just reality tv marathons. We all have our things. Mine happen to be travel, brunch, Target and sitting by bodies of water. Travel reigns supreme.

When I travel, I get to pull myself out of my environment. I’m someone who fixates on what’s right in front of me (school, work, business, friends/family, etc), and I’m still working on creating stronger boundaries in those realms to maintain my serenity and energy. Until then, hopping on a plane to pause my anxiety works for me. Travel is an activity that’s substantial enough for me to actually become fully distracted to tap into the things that are innately in me: creativity, exploration, risk and so on. It tends to pull me out of the fog I’m in to look at the beauty of new scenery, new people, new ways of being. And I love learning! Every trip is a study tour for me. I’m hitting museums, chatting up locals, listening to local music, you name it. That’s given me a deeper skillset and appreciation for my very people-based work, and it shoots a dose of humanity in my veins.

Watching the bakers make turtle shaped bread at Boudin Sourdough Bakery & Cafe in San Francisco.

What I especially love about international travel is it allows me greater opportunity to completely unplug. No wifi, no problems. Now, that was definitely an adjustment at first. My best friend chastised me often for how much I was trying to find a signal to see IG, but I’m getting better. There is beauty in no cell service. I wish I could throw my phone in the White River today and never look back. I don’t dream of constant accessibility for contact, but it’s so much harder to practice at home. Won’t be reached and can’t be reached send two very different messages.

Travel and these other escapism practices suspend the momentum of our lives. So many of us live in breakneck pace environments. It feels good to just jump out of that and just be. And that matters even more when we’re not pleased about the direction the momentum is currently going. I love going into a reflective space on my travels to help me do a mindset reset before I return. It sets the perfect stage to cancel the noise of the hustle and bustle. I needed to get away for some reason or another, so how can I make sure I tackle it when I get back? That’s a powerful way to flex your moments of escape. Doesn’t always have to be that way, but if you’re constantly escaping without checking in with yourself you likely aren’t facing what’s wrong with your actual life. That’s when sweet escapes can turn into something more destructive.

Me blissfully protecting my peace on the peaceful Tulum Beach.

So here are some questions I recommend the next time you want to get away:

Check out the masterclass! Follow both of us on IG to learn about future sessions!

• What am I trying to escape or avoid?

• How can I create better boundaries in my everyday life?

• Do I like the pace/direction my life is going? What would a shift look like?

• What does a life I don’t need a escape from look life?

• Are there things I can do to make my everyday experience more enjoyable?

Do you know where your next escape will be? Asking for myself! lol

If you are looking for your next escape, I recommend checking out the replay of the masterclass session I sponsored in partnership with Brittany Stewart from The Social Chef. We talk how to find flights on a budget domestically and internationally. This can be found here for purchase at a low rate. You’ll definitely make it back in all the savings!

Escape Responsibly,

Britt

Babes in KY Bourbon Land: Part Two

Are y’all ready for me to finally tell y’all what we did on part two of this trip! (LMAO) I’m back to finish recapping our journey along the Kentucky Bourbon Trail for our Valentine’s baecation.

Stop 1: Stitzel-Weller Distillery

We wanted an opportunity to try somewhere still in Louisville, but was open early so we could still make the drive to Frankfort for our other stops. We were lucky enough to nab a pair of early tickets for Stitzell-Weller Distillery (11 a.m. to be exact). Now, this was our first time on large bourbon distillery grounds and we weren’t quite prepared for how they look. We saw these tall ominous buildings that were covered in some black substance. It gave eerie asylum prison vibes, tbh. As we began the tour we learned those are actually rickhouses. This is where they store the barrels to age. So ironically, they were exactly where we wanted to be. The grounds had been around for many decades and we were able to tour the stillhouse where they tested out new mash bills (ingredient lists), walked inside the rickhouse and visited an original cooper’s shop where they used to repair the barrels. It was really neat to see a large facility that was well maintained from the early days. The tour ended with a tasting of course. We were able to try five different bourbons. The do distil Bulleit now on site, but they also feature in-house bourbons like Blade and Bow, I.W. Harper and Orphan Barrel. We even got a personalized bottle of Blade and Bow to take home!

Now, my Babe loves the gamification in whiskey drinking. He’s currently a Blanton’s top collector, and we learned that with the Blade and Bow brand they are packaged with small keys tied around the neck. Each key has a number and it ranges from 1-5. Once you collect all five and send them in, you receive a golden cup that is displayed onsite at the distillery. If anyone has a two key let us know. Seriously…

Stop 2: Buffalo Trace

For the second stop, we took a little drive further down the trail to Kentucky’s capital, Frankfort. Here there are another cluster of distillery stops. We definitely could not pack them all into one day, but we had to hit my Babe’s favorite, Buffalo Trace. Now, these grounds are massive! We weren’t able to do a tour because of COVID restrictions, but they still allowed tastings. Buffalo Trace is quite popular because they produce several fan favorites. Trying to get tickets online in advance were impossible, so we honestly took the risk of showing up to see what happens. Luckily, we were able to get a spot here as well! In the meantime we walked around the gift shop to stock up on items for friends. Here, people line up pretty early to score some of their rarer, more limited brands that are put out every morning. The fun is that you never know what it might be. It could be Blanton’s. It could be Pappy Van Winkle or W.L. Weller. Who knows? Unfortunately, Babe didn’t get to score one of his sought after rare finds, but was loving the experience all the same. Our tasting was nice. It was free and definitely was a little more limited in content discussed and options. You did get to try a good range of their products though. I got to get the boyfriend (now fiance) over to his bourbon Mecca, so it was good trip. And I had some bourbon vanilla ice cream that was to die for!!

Stop 3: Wild Turkey Distillery

Wild Turkey was our final stop before returning to the city. It was our most rural stop, and boy did it lend for some nice views. Wild Turkey has a beautiful modern gift shop and tasting roof that has large windows in the back that allows the light to pour in and you can see the waterway and railroad tracks. No tastings and tours were available, but the staff was very welcoming and eager to share information about not only Wild Turkey whiskeys, but also about the history of bourbon. Did you know Matthew McConaughey serves as their creative director and collaborated to produce the Longbranch brand? This was also the first time I got an explanation on the difference between bourbon and Tennessee whiskey. (Ask for yourself to find out.)

This stop ended our tour de bourbon and we made our way back to the Lou for dinner. I won’t name the restaurant because honestly I wasn’t impressed. They are Black-owned, and I want to maintain and uplifting space for Black businesses here. I do like to support and circulate dollars in the Black community on my travels. I wish them the best, just not the spot for me. I’m also still sad it was too busy for us to hit up SuperChefs for our departure breakfast. I can’t wait to go back and try again because that food looked AMAZING!

Brunch Stop: Biscuit Belly

Now you know I was getting a local brunch in the mix. We made our way over to NULU to try Biscuit Belly. I never realized that Louisville was big on biscuit restaurants. This place popped up a few times on my searches so I thought we should check in out. (Plus, now we have a Bougie Biscuit in Nap! Saves me a drive!) It’s walk up style to order and then they bring your food out to your table. There were several different options to adorn your flaky warm biscuits. For apps we had the loaded breakfast tots and the pancake corndogs. For entrees, I had the Biscuit Bennie (love a good benedict with a twist) and he had the Go Goetta Biscuit with meat and egg added. Thoroughly enjoyed the appetizers. My bennie was good, but needed a little extra kick. Overall, I’d go again. (#theBrunchQueen👑approved) Ready to see how Bougie Biscuit compares.

And that my friends, wraps up our quick road trip. We had a great time, and I always enjoy traveling with my Babe. Glad I could plan something that centered around one of his favorite pastimes, that I too have grown a much deeper appreciation for. This was also my first complete pleasure trip to Kentucky that didn’t involve the amusement park, so I’m excited to come back and see even more.

Have you been down to Kentucky? What stops do you recommend?

Happy Trails!

Britt

Britt Buys Black: Interview with Cara Elaine, Creator of the Soul Curly Kit

As I wrap up this beauty segment focusing on natural hair, I had the opportunity to feature the winner of the giveaway I put on with Snaps x Styles this spring. Her name is Cara Elaine, and she is a content creator and entrepreneur (soon to be serial, I can feel it). We talked travel, natural hair and business. Check out my interview with her below:

Authentic Facts

Name: Cara Elaine
Hometown: A True Hoosier from Indianapolis. A Pike Red Devil!
Education: Kelley Grad from IU-Bloomington
Fave Black Business to Support:
Lilly’s Kloset (https://www.lillyskloset.net/)
Fave Brunch Spot: First Watch (recommends Kale Spinach Juice), Gallery Pastry Bar
Favorite Places to Travel: NOLA (annual), Belize, São Paulo, Brazil

Where to find her!
@JustCaraElaine (https://lnk.bio/1u2r) https://www.soulcurlykit.com/
www.CaraElaine.com

B: What inspired you to start blogging? 
C: I went to study abroad when I was an undergrad in Brazil, and I wanted a way to keep up with my family and friends about what I was experiencing there. So I started this blog and that's all it was. Just this little travel blog and then overtime I continued to create content with it, and it turned into more of a natural hair, beauty and lifestyle blog. That's what I really focus on today essentially and what I really love.

B: And I know you’ve got something else brewing...
C: As soon as I stopped talking, it hit my brain! Yes, so my first baby is growing. Her name is Soul Curly Kit and it is a textured hair care kit provider for all the kinkises, coilies and curlies out there. It's a way for you to get hair products, tools and accessories in a convenient way. You don't have to think about it. You don't have to do your homework. You can just have what you need to get through your wash day routine and some things that’ll help make your natural hair journey easier.  

B: So when did you go natural or have you been natural for life?
C: Oh no, I’m not a lifer. (laughs) I want to say somewhere between fifth and sixth grade somewhere in there I got my first perm and I was on the creamy crack until I got to my sophomore year in college and then I was like, “I don't have time to get my hair done. I'm just going to let it grow and see what happens.” 

B:I would have loved the Soul Curly Kit when I went natural. I didn’t know what I was doing.
C: None of us did! (laughs)

B: So tell me more about the process of launching Soul Curly Kit.
C: What I envision for my business to be is not exactly what it is now, but I was able to launch and bring the customers in so that I can get their feedback on what more they're looking for. This first box is called the Curls in Bloom kit. You're going to see products from Imbue Curls and hair tools from Naturally Us Collective, which are Black and Latina-owned small businesses. You're going to see four solid products included in every kit: your shampoo, conditioner cream gel, and leave in. But then, you can customize your kit with the most necessary items for your natural hair journey and your needs. You can choose from a hair serum or oil as well as either some satin scrunchies or a mist spray bottle. It’s an opportunity to try new things. It's called a discovery kit for a reason. You never know what was missing from your routine that can really take it to the next level and make it easier for you. 

B: What does it mean to you to be a Black-woman-owned business?
C: I mean because I have this entrepreneurial spirit about me, it feels like I'm home in a sense.  This is my space. This is where I can really like, have MY thing. I'm excited and I look up to so many Black-women-owned businesses I have to say, especially in the hair care industry. I just honestly really rely on them for inspiration.

B: How do you deal with the saturation in the beauty industry as well as content creation?
C: Yeah, I mean I definitely feel saturation not necessarily from my business point of view [Soul Curly Kit]. But as a content creator and blogger, I definitely do feel saturation. But I would say that there's so much power in our collaboration. Collaborating with others in our same space, in our same interest. And I mean when you have something that tugs at your heart and pulls at your emotions, and your feelings and it is just something pulling you towards something, that's a calling. Regardless of whoever is doing it, doesn't mean that you shouldn't. I think it's really hard for us to have blinders on when we're pursuing our passions because regardless of what it is, it is so easy to just look at what's going on with the other people. How come it's not like that or why don't I have ___? Stay in your lane. Stay focused on what you want.

B: I love that. So this blog is based on finding authentic beauty in your everyday life. So what does that mean to you?
C: I have learned that I am way more creative than I think I am or thought I ever was, and so because of that, I understand I am always going to be overwhelmed with the amount of creative energy that is like a bouncing around in my head. I've grown to realize that that's okay to be overwhelmed by it. I try to keep notes in my phone with all these things that bounce around, so I can release them and then decide like what what do I actually want to tackle. I would have to say I guess authentic beauty is my creativity just comes to me and I've gotten to a point where I try not to let it overwhelm me. I embrace what I can do now, and try and think about how and when I can do other things later.

I told you this is just the beginning of Cara’s creative pursuits. Be sure to follow her on all her social platforms and grab your own Soul Curly Kit! I already got mine! (You can do Paypal pay-in-four too!)

Stay creative, stay beautiful!

Britt

Britt Buys Black: Naturally Adira

I’m keeping my theme about hair care going, so of course I’m going to shout out a Black-owned product I love. In April 2020, I attended the Boss Babe Brunch (more info here) and as the event was wrapping up, I met this woman who had on a dope short suit and was rocking a beautiful fro. In my true power-networker fashion, I introduced myself and was delighted to learned that Denasiha was a YouTuber and she focused on her natural hair experience.

Quick backstory, I’ve spent a large chunk of my late adolescence/adulthood binging YouTube beauty and lifestyle videos. It’s a past-time that I think only young millennials truly understand.

Anyway, I looked her up right after the event and I’ve been subscribed to Adira Kalon ever since. Definitely enjoy her videos on natural hair care tips and routines. I’m so inspired by her plunge to dye her hair purple! I’m also a smidge jealous of her commitment to the gym (LOL). She’s adding more vlogs in the mix too, and that’s been fun content to watch as well.

Another extension of Naturally Adira’s brand is the her product lines. One is Crowned Apparel and the other is the Crown Care Collection. In the collection she currently sells three homemade products, a moisture/growth serum, a scalp treatment oil and a refresher spray. It’s so cool because she makes these products herself with carefully curated ingredients to promote healthy scalp and hair for growth (which you can see from her channel and Instagram).

I personally struggle with maintaining maximum hydration, so I picked up the Moisture Rescue product in the collection. I apply it as a part of my regular weekly maintenance directly to my scalp, and have been using it since last year. Honestly, I feel like this serum was the perfect boost to my long healthy hair journey. My hair has gained inches rapidly. I don’t think it’s a coincidence. For so long I used oils and products that were filled with so many additives and chemicals I couldn’t pronounce. Adira’s hand-crafted oils have simple ingredients and are carefully infused to bring out the herbs full benefits.

Also, I'd like to add a quick note that the packaging is super cute. I haven’t had any spilled product upon delivery. Plus, she includes the cutest care card and bonus affirmation card with your order.

If you’re looking for new natural hair products, I highly recommend! I also can’t wait to order the Hydrating Hair Tea refresher spray for my summer braids when it’s back in stock. Subscribe to her YouTube and follow her on IG to get more tips and product updates. Plus, you get to see the funny things her pup Sir does on a weekly basis.

Stay tuned for a few more posts I have about hair care coming up!

Queens, let’s fix each other’s crowns!

Britt

For Natural Girls Who've Considered Throwing Back on The Creamy Crack

Dear Naturalista in Distress,

I see you. I hear you. I’ve been you. Put those clippers down you don’t know how to use. Put that perm back in the box. For the love of all that is holy, take that protective style down that’s been in way too long. In a world that constantly tries to tame our features, especially our hair, I urge you to travel take the road of self-compassion and discovery. And most of all, ask for some help!

Growing up, getting my hair done was the bane of my existence. From the soapy eyes, day long sessions, and subsequent aches and pains from perpetual stillness. It was a mess. To top it off, as lovingly as my mom tried to provide care, we didn’t share the same texture and her old school tricks were no weapon for my strong tresses. I prefer to hide most of my childhood photos from three to ten-years-old. The dry damaged ends, lopsided pigtails, and undeveloped texture took a toll on my crown.

At age nine, I was finally old enough to get a perm. It’s own unique rite of passage, although it ushered in a new attack. Over-processing, scalp burns, and increased heat use sent my hair growth cycle on a constant roller coaster of thriving and deprivation. Plus, most of this was under the care of paraprofessionals, AKA the beauty school. And inevitably every year, I had to get a restart bob and try it again.

As I entered college, the return to natural movement was in full swing. I began my transition with quarterly perms, but relatively still poor at-home care inbetween. Still using products full of things I couldn’t pronounce and not getting regular trims. However, thanks to YouTube University I was finally getting schooled on the knowledge that was long overdue to treat my crown with the opulence it deserved. Deep conditioning treatments, natural ingredients, real protective styles.

The summer before I went to graduate school, I finally decided to take the plunge….the BIG CHOP. I loved that little cut too—until the humidity set in (LOL). While I was leveling up my academic knowledge, I simultaneously began to relearn what my hair actually looked like, and what it needed to strive. Slowly but surely that TWA returned to shoulder length. My length retention still needed some work, but for once I loved MY hair in it’s own state.

June 2020

The cut that restarted my journey.

Fast forward to professional life, I was still coasting along brushing my shoulders. I was five-years natural at this point and resolved my hair would never touch my back, so why bother. I was wearing wigs, weaves and more to get that “look.” Might as well chop it all off again so I didn’t have to do these twist downs because your girl still can’t braid. But then the pandemic hit, desperate and defeated I decided I was going to do what should have done before, entrust my haircare with the professionals. Now, I acknowledge I had hit a level of privilege to afford regular care from a professional, but honestly if I lost it all I’d still hustle my way to seeing my stylists. And here’s why….

May 2021

This is almost one year’s worth of growth! Bra strap, here we come!!

In less than ONE year, I went from scraggly shoulder length to almost brushing my BRA STRAP. (There is a God!) This is the longest my hair has been EVER. No bull. My primary stylist told me in our first meeting, my hair should have been much longer as long as I’ve been natural and she proved it. (More about her in the next blog.) The other benefit is my in-between maintenance has improved because I don’t want to let her down when I get back in the chair (CRINE). And, I think I’ve finally found my staple products.

I say all of this to say, lovelies, stay the course. Most importantly, make healthy hair in general a priority. If you do return to the creamy crack, please use a professional and get your routine together because the growth is for the patient and attentive. And if you shave it off, keep it lined up, Sis! All in all, be kind to your crown queen.

Let Yooo SOUL GLO!

Britt

They Call Me the Brunch Queen

As long as I could remember, I have always enjoyed the first meal of the day, but I preferred not to wake up and eat that meal until about 11 o'clock. As a kid, I was a fiend for pancakes and waffles, but over time my pallet matured and I began to appreciate the savory side of things, like omelets and skillets. To top it off, my two all-time favorite foods are bacon and potatoes. I say all of this because it's pretty clear once I was introduced to brunch culture I would never turn back. In fact, my goal is to dominate it. 

I have brunched all over Indianapolis, throughout the country, and even over international waters. The goal at the beginning was not to become an authority on the cuisine, but was really just an obsession. I have enjoyed brunch at well over 60 different restaurants, and I hope to hit 100 before 2021 is over. Healthy or not, I’ll leave that to you all to decide. 

Brunching in Seattle at Oddfellows Cafe & Bar

This has led people I know to come to me for recommendations on where they can enjoy the most important meal of the weekend. I love that people have entrusted me with that insight, and this year I want to lean into it and build-out resources to help you all live the life of brunch royalty.
To kick things off, check out my blog post over on the Boss Babe Network. I provide boss tips that can be learned from brunch. 

From there, check out #thebrunchqueen👑 on IG and look for posts under my main account @brittanygrams. I will be transitioning to a newer tag to consolidate all my posts in one place. I also have a guide that I’ve published on IG featuring a selection of some Indy spots to check out. There will be more to cover Indy, the broader US and international recommendation. 

At the 2020 Boss Babe Brunch, hosted by Founder Mariah Oliver .

Lastly, I will be providing brunch looks of the day. I’m not a fashion blogger, but I am fashionable. This will be my moment to indulge in that side and share it with all of you. 

Understand that my kingdom is inclusive so if you ever have places you want to share or want to ask for places to go, reach out! 

Long Live Bottomless Mimosas!

Britt

It's My Blog Anniversary!

Y'all, I cannot believe it! First and foremost, I just want to thank everyone who has been a part of this journey from helping me to gather content to reading these blogs, sharing them with your friends, and gassing me up! It's all been a blessing, honestly. Who would have thought it would have taken a whole pandemic to finally get me take the leap and do this? I have had some fall off moments, but I can confidently say this is the most attention I have given to blogging in my whole life. And maybe, just maybe, this was actually the best time.

As I mentioned early on, I had the idea for this blog back in 2014. However, last year I finally executed. I stopped just watching the videos, reading the tips, buying the books and just started doing it. And I'm glad that last year allowed me to finally take and make the time to do it. I'm excited for year two. I have had some hiccups along the way but this current recovery period has allowed me to get clearer vision on how I want to grow this brand, this blog, my community of readers, and I hope you enjoy the ride. Now let's do a rundown of some year one accomplishments:

• I designed this site myself

• I hosted a giveaway with Snaps x Styles

• I’ve collabed with several Black businesses through #BrittBuysBlack 

• I did a brand shoot to update my site (see above)

• I still posted travel content in a panorama

• I actually marketed myself as a content creator

• I scored a guest blog post on Boss Babe Network

• I joined a mastermind with other creators (learn more)

• I’m still learning and enjoying the journey

Below you’ll find some of my most popular posts from year one. Check those out and get caught up before I roll out my new content for year two!

Put Me in Coach

Hot Girl’s Guide to Early Retirement

Why I Love Quarantine Pt. One

Again, I can’t stress how thankful I am for the support and please don’t hesitate to give me feedback on what you think about the blog. I want to make sure you all enjoy reading. Be sure to follow the Instagram account to be notified on new posts as well!

Let’s get into the Terrific Twos!

Britt

Babes in KY Bourbon Land: Part One

For Valentine’s Day me and the Bae took a quick getaway (baecation if you will) down to Kentucky to explore the famous Kentucky Bourbon Trail! We both enjoy a good bourbon, but he by far is the real enthusiast. We both learned a ton about how bourbons are distilled, and we got to explore a little bit of Louisville on our own!

Frazier Museum

This was our first stop as soon as we crossed the river. Frazier Museum prides itself on being the Kentucky Bourbon Trail Welcome Center. An what a warm welcome is was! We kicked things off with the Ready! Set! Go! Bourbon Experience. It was phenomenal! Our guide was so knowledgeable and he made things really fun! We both learned that we didn’t know how to properly taste a bourbon before this. We just kind of took things before off of first impression. (LOL) Now, I can pick up so many more notes from the mash bills and my enjoyment has truly went to the next level. The Old Forester 1920 Prohibition had notes of green apple, and it’s definitely one of my new favorites. This is a great opening experience because you get such a rich history lesson and you get to taste across three different brands. Before or after you complete your tasting, you can enjoy the current bourbon focused exhibits in the museum. One displays basically every Kentucky Bourbon in distribution and you can count how many you’ve had. My Babe’s number is an impressive 41, and I that’s not even halfway through.

ALEX&NDER

Following our trip to the Museum, we made our way over to Butchertown. Now this bar came highly recommended from some friends, and we could see why. Alex&nder is the on-site bar for the Copper and Kings American Brandy Company. The space itself is made up of these bold orange and charcoal gray shipping containers, which was super cool. As you walk into the property, you pass a beautiful outdoor lounge space with a water feature and a fire pit. We can’t wait to come back and see it in the warmer months. Once you enter the building towards the back, you head up a few floors to find a beautifully elegant bar with amazing views of the skyline and the bridges. The two of us were relatively naive when it comes to brandys, but we both enjoyed two of their delicious cocktails and shared a fight featuring three of the Copper and Kings brandys. Definitely different and better quality than what we’d had before. This place is ultimate date night vibes for sure.

Quick Stop: bar Vetti

I’m really sad I can’t find my own photo of our food, but we had a carryout meal from bar Vetti. It was decorated super chic, and I LOVED the pink neon ambience. They were booked up for reservations, but we still had a chance to try out their Italian cuisine that we devoured at the hotel—we had only had kettle chips since we arrived in town. I enjoyed their beef meatballs and the orecchiette (a sausage ragu with basil and ricotta). And admittedly I was so hungry in the moment I forgot what Tre ordered.

The Moxy Hotel

We settled in for the night at our super fun hotel, the Moxy Louisville. Moxy Hotels are the boutique style hotel brand under the Marriott Bonvoy brand that prides itself on an eccentric and welcoming experience. For example, the check-in desk doubles as the lobby bar! There were announcements chalked on the elevator walls. There were also card and board games available in the lobby to play (COVID safely of course). We had a cute (and compact) room that overlooked the Ohio River—a vibe. By the time we ate dinner and made it halfway through the movie, I was out like a light. Plus, we had an early day ahead that I’ll share in the next post.

Cheers!

Britt

Britt Buys Black: Nadéjiah Towns--Put Me in Coach!

Fun fact about me: I was a university career coach for three and a half years. I really enjoyed helping my students connect to what they love, and showing them how to position themselves for their next opportunity. They have gone on to do amazing things, embark on cool careers, and many of them make more money than I do. I still provide advice here and there, and definitely have tried to practice what I've preached in my own searches and exploration. But what happens when the coach needs a coach? Over time I've learned that I can't do it all, and that even includes doing things for myself. I decided that this year I was going to get some assistance in unlocking my path into better clarity and alignment professionally. 

This month’s Britt Buys Black feature is Nadéjiah Towns. I recently finished up her Career Alignment Accelerator program because I wanted to enter the mid-stage of my professional career with greater intention and better understanding of my value because I'm still chasing these coins as I approach 30.  Not only was I seeking clarity on how to align my skills with my financial worth, but also getting a better grasp on the strengths that I have and the skills that I enjoy using on a day-to-day basis. She was tremendously helpful in coaching me as I sorted out my own stuff and really uncovered what was going to be important to me in my next move. 

Nadéjiah helps women of color “reclaim power over their careers and vocalize their value to increase their income.” (Period!) She recently transitioned to coaching full-time after spending the early stages of her business as a resume writer while juggling a full-time higher education position. She was in reslife y’all. That ish is no joke! She has a very laid back, yet accountable style that makes you feel like you’re working through this with one of your girlfriends--except she knows even more of what she’s talking about. Over the six weeks, I was gathered in a loving way and set straight on a path to preparing for moves I actually want, not just what happens to pop up. I’ve already began revisiting assignments to help me on this journey. 

Now, getting a coach is an investment into your future. If you could do it alone, you would have by now. Here are some other tips I have to help you tap in:

Follow that coach on social media to get their vibe. Do you even like what they’re talking about? How about their messaging style? Do they have some shared experiences or identities that resonate with you. Study them first. See if they have freebies to get a taste of their programs.

Make small investments in yourself. You have to get in a habit of investing in personal development. For me that first step was buying courses and programs. Start to put some change aside for a personal development fund. More often than not the investment will pay for itself and then some. 

Get your mind right. Successful coaching experiences also depend on you being coachable. That looked like going through therapy first for me. I had to sort out other mental blockages before I could take on new info. Your consultation session can help you both determine if you’re ready. These sessions will only work as hard as you do.

Follow Nadéjiah on Instagram linked here. Also, we’ll be doing an IG Live session on March 3 at 5p EST to discuss my experience in the program. Catch us live or on the replay!

Tap in!

Britt

Fab Fine February Recap

Wow, the shortest month of the year surely lived up to its motive. Anyone else feel like they were slammed through the month? No. Just me? Anyway, this is why #FabFineFebruary exists in my life. This is more than a cute hashtag or mantra. It is a whole intention. I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (hence the love of beaches), and normally this time of year is not kind to me mentally. With that being said, I decided a few years ago that I would take back some control by pushing myself to do things during this month that affirming. Things that make me feel fine and fabulous inside and out. So let me give you the tenants and then I’ll follow up with the recap.

• Put effort into your appearance- This was in place pre-pandemic and I’m blown away at how often I’m finding myself bare-faced and in loungewear these days. This is the fine part of the intention by the way. I’m a look good feel better gal, and not taking care of my appearance is a red flag for my mental declines.

• Go on adventures- Get outside, safely! Take a day trip. Go on a weekend jaunt to a new place. Hell, explore your own city/county. Shake up the environment you’re looking at. It’s a sure way to lift you out of a rut.

• Spend time with friends/loved ones- Before I was Boo’d up, me and folx went HARD for Single Awareness Day. And better yet, we made it a whole co-ed weekend! Wineries, dinners, movies, the club! Chile, listen. Don’t get it twisted Valentine’s with an S.O. is its own excitement, but don’t let that define your joy in February.

• Take care of your body- The mental can often be dictated by the physical. I know you may have fallen off on your gym goals from the New Year, but you can bounce back. Start small, start somewhere. Just 20 minutes, just one healthy meal swap a day.

Now that you know the game plan, here’s how it looks in action.

All Glammed Up!

I got my “hair done, nails done, everything did” towards the beginning of the month. I was tired of looking busted. It felt so good to put on a little mascara or a beat face at least once a week. For me, it’s affirming my beauty is worth the time to enhance.

Tre-Britt Bourbon Trail

At the Frazier Museum kicking off our trip at the Kentucky Bourbon Trail Welcome Center.

I’ll share more about this in its own travel post, but it felt good to break out and have a change of scenery. It was also so educational! Glad I could spend my second official Valentine’s Day with my loves (travel, Bae and cocktails).

Indy’s Best and Brightest

If you don’t learn anything else about me, know that I want to put on for my city! I’ll never deny being from Naptown and it’s because I see good things in it, and want to do my part to bring good things out of it. I’m honored to be a finalist in our city’s Best and Brightest put on by one of our local nonprofits. (Donate Here)

Honing My Craft

I’m really trying to do this content creator/blogger thing, so I’ve used this month to soak up so much knowledge and to get clear on my value and how I want to progress as a boss and a career woman. I networked and I was in a two-day workshop series put on by the lovely Britt of Snaps x Styles. I’ve also gotten back into reading. I’m listening to the War of Art right now on Audible.

The Shadow Side

I won’t say this month was free from baggage. I still hit the pandemic wall. I actually got pretty sick part of the way through (Not-COVID). I just got so flustered at times, but I can tell I’m coming out on the other side, and making the effort to keep moving, especially on the things I enjoyed helped turn this boat around.

So next February, be ready! It’s gonna be FIONE and FAB- U - LOUS!

Take Care,

Britt

Britt Buys Black: Jassi Beauty Productions

We kicking off Black History Month correct! Cash app a Black woman immediately!

Anyway, I want to talk about a bomb Black woman entrepreneur that I love and deserves all of your coins. I’m am talking about my beloved friend and slayer of nails, Jasmine of Jassi Beauty Productions! She’s based in Indianapolis and I’ve been going to her now for well over five years. If you know me, you know I keep my nails did—no, that’s not a typo this time.

If I don’t do any other beauty maintenance, I’m handling these paws. For a brief career dream in high school, I thought I was going to be a nail tech. I even studied a thing or two, so I have mad appreciation for folks who do this craft well and not just for the quick cash. She serves you quality service with quality products, and she is a creative genius when free-styling art. I have my initials in old English font painted on my hands, and you can’t tell me nothing right now. I’ll let the pictures do the talking and then share more of what I love.

For a long time I was self-conscious about my feet. They aren’t the worst, but they won’t cash out on Only Fans either. Going to get pedicures for me used to be a labor of love because I normally did it myself and kept them hidden until I loosened up in college. However, the way my feet look and feel after I leave Jasmine’s chair… I’ll wear a slide in the winter time no socks. She’s the only tech I’ve been to where my feet are completely smooth a month later without me grabbing my file or stone.

We’re at the point now, I don’t let another tech touch my nails—even on vacay. I’ll get them done before I go. I’ve been burned before, and I vowed to never cheat again! God forbid either of us move away because we’re gonna have to arrange some flights. It’s that serious.

So if you’re not already convinced, she has two specials going on for the month of February. You need to book your appointment, tuh-day! I already made my friend BSquared a believer. Now I’m working on you! Book her now on IG or Facebook!

2020 Reflections and Gratitude

Hello There!

I know, I know. Where in the world have I been? (Y’all can always keep up with me on IG, though.) I’m still adjusting to blogging while full-time working/adulting. However, I’m not throwing in the towel. I’m committed to this endeavor because I believe in the platform I’m trying to create and I owe it to myself not to abandon this vision. I’ve done that for far too long. Which is a great segue into this post!

How could you not learn during this anomaly of a year? It truly showcased the worst of us and best of us simultaneously. The world events constantly put our lives and routines in upheaval causing us to constantly pivot and reassess in ways we haven’t before. So what did I learn from the infamous 2020?

1. Save yourself.

   I understand that this phrase may throw the collectivists into a tizzy, but I’ve got to keep it real. We experienced a year with such a deficit in leadership that we truly had to lead ourselves in a lot of ways to cope and survive. That’s not only physically, but mentally, financially, socially, professionally, etc. I got a more intimate view of what I need to be ok, and as long as I’m doing everything in my power to minimize harm to others I’m going to do what I need to do, period.

2. I’ve got food at home.

   In all seriousness, I am a spender over a saver, but the lockdown time showed me how much money could remain in my account if I stay in the house. I’m blessed to have not missed income in 2020, but oh how I was mismanaging it before the pandemic. It was the hard reset I needed to think more long-term about my bag and how I’m storing up for the uncertain future. Plus, cooking is lit and I’m so glad I got spend more time doing an activity I neglected with someone I love.

3. Ask for help, and invest in your problems.

   I kept putting off getting the help in areas I was severely struggling before the pandemic. I was doing so many other things to get by. (Cue Solange’s “Cranes in the Sky”) Last spring I hit the end of the rope. I got a therapist (one of my best 2020 decisions) who really helped me sort out the barriers in my mindset. After working with her (Black womxn therapist matter!), I then got to a place where I can better receive help from others, so then I hired a coach. And best believe, I’m about to pay some more folx to help with even more things this year.

4. Leap because tomorrow is not promised.

   The passage says, “life is but a vapor” and boy oh boy did that concept get driven home. We don’t know our expiration date, so we might as well stop wasting time and get after it. Whatever your “it” is, do “it”. Among friends I joked that last year’s word should have been “audacity” because folx were going for it last year even if it was loud and wrong. And for better or for worse they achieved what they set out to do.

5. Shake up your routine.

   If your life went uninterrupted last year I encourage you to write a blog, shoot a video or do a press release about it because “how Sway?” So many of my plans changed. Vision board—shredded it. Weekly planner—tossed aside. Yet still, I’m grateful because as I reflect now I realize how many things I was doing in a compulsory fashion, not out of true passion or even inclination. I had got sucked in to these things as a consequence of my serial busyness, and never off-loaded it. In fact, even had the nerve to double down on some of this ish I really didn’t want to do.

6. The relationships are key.

   Whether it was state sanctioned violence, ongoing crime in my city or COVID, I was constantly worried about my loved ones. People I know didn’t make it to 2021. That really humbled me and helped me work on taking the time for the relationships I value in my life because you just never know. I called people more, I tried to be strategic about visits and video calls. I was more understanding and compassionate when friction arose. I showed up for more celebrations (virtually). I took time to be still and realize I missed my people and leaned into it including those I had lost prior to and during 2020.
   

   All in all, I’m grateful to be alive and reasonable well. I’m incredibly grateful for what 2020 taught me. I’m grateful to have my basic needs met. I’m grateful to those who are showing up for me and helping myself and others live their most authentic selves. And most of all, I’m grateful to each and everyone of you who skimmed, devoured, shared, like or commented on my posts last year. You are appreciated and I owe you my consistency in return for 2021.

   Until the next post my beautiful people!

   Britt

Wanderlust: Going International in a Pandemic Pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: COVID TRAVEL TALES
I appreciate the concern and passion, but understand this post is not to push people to travel who are uncomfortable or to debate whether or not to go. I already researched, deliberated and battled within myself and I’ll continue to make that decision on trip by trip basis because I believe COVID concerns aren’t leaving us soon. I really believe this is our reality for the next two years even with a lockdown. And the reality I’ve seen is there are places STRUGGLING without tourism because their regions didn’t bother to diversify their economy long ago.

Ok, now on to the tea. I broke out y’all. I’ve realized that I do not live in a climate that’s congruent with my mental wellness. Most of the pandemic I was cool. I mean hallelujah the stay at home began during the Midwestern spring because y’all…I probably would have taken out a personal loan to be remote somewhere through the entire fall and winter season. Sis needs sunshine and water like a plant.

Now, we did do a road trip last summer which was really nice, but that sole purpose was to safely check on older loved ones while work schedules allowed. No hotels, no planes. In December, I tested out my normal travel MO, beaches by plane. First up was Cozumel with my best friend. Mexico has always treated me well, so why not start with what I know? One thing I did know, I wasn’t stepping out to Tulum and Cancun. Y’all were wildin’ over there.

I wanted the road less traveled. All I was looking for was sand, seafood and sun. (Plus, some authentic tacos.) We found an Airbnb so we didn’t have to deal with any crowded resorts. For flights we aimed for no more than one layover—airlines really did my city dirty by cutting the nonstops. We quarantined away from folks before we left and packed plenty of sanitizer and masks.

The Flight

Before take off, I was appalled at how people were carrying themselves in these airports. Social distancing, what is that? Not covering their nose. Just nonsense. I’m not loving the flying experience either, especially on certain airlines that have since abandoned precautions like seating people in the middle. I had my face shield on deck with the mask. I think I almost hyperventilated three times, but I kept making myself go to sleep to ease the panic. As of right now, my maximum flight time is two and a half hours. I already got stir crazy after three hours before COVID.

The Lodging

Our Airbnb was cute! Clean from what we could see and in the owner’s description, they also had laundry on site. Very spacious and we could see the water from our corner balcony. We were also walking distance from several restaurants, shops and markets.

The Location

Cozumel is not packed at all. The island is very dependent on cruise traffic, and with those on pause you can really see how deserted it was. Vendors were more forward than I’m used to in getting us to check out wares and come to restaurants, but I don’t blame them. It’s survival. Even with the ferry still in operation from Playa del Carmen, we still didn’t see a huge influx of visitors. Several locals we talked to who worked around the area explained how eager and hopeful they are for cruises to return to help bring business back to the area. Cozumel is pretty touristy, we recognized plenty of “American” chains. I had never seen a 7/11 in Mexico until this trip. We tried to stick with mainly beachfront restaurants and bars for food. We also bought groceries to cook at the apartment.

The beaches were also fairly light in visitors (looked nothing like other footage I had seen throughout Quintana Roo. Loungers were spaced out well for social distancing and it was easy to avoid getting close to folks while frolicking in the ocean as well. I can’t speak for the areas in the southern most part of Cozumel since we didn’t make it that far, but the western coast was quiet. Taxis also were plentiful, they often sanitized and had all the windows open, which made me feel more comfortable while getting around.

Safety

As I hinted at throughout, Cozumel is doing many of the normal precautions. Social distancing, sanitizing before entry, temperature checks. A lot of businesses also had the sani-mats to clean your shoes as well. And of course, masks everywhere. Which I will say masking looked like it was going way better here than in the city/state I currently reside with double the current temperatures. Should you still be extra careful? Yes. It’s a pandemic. Make sure you’re taking necessary supplements. Monitor how you’re feeling. Rotate hand washing in the midst of sanitizing. Rest. Don’t over indulge with alcohol while you’re out. Eat outside/open air (so easy to do here). Avoid any crowded bars or club situations. Lastly, make sure you use travel insurance. You never know what can go down and you should be covered.

The Return

I voluntarily quarantined once I returned to keep my folx safe. I also did test, which was thankfully negative which based on how short my trip length was it’s safe to assume I wasn’t positive while away either.

Again, I’m not going to tell you whether or not to travel abroad. Whatever you decide don’t blow off the easy things you can do to keep yourself and others safe when venturing out near or far. Also, if you’re not taking precautions at home, you for darn sure don’t need to be venturing out.

Stay tuned for part two!

Britt

The Joys of Journaling and Planning

I know we have all heard the phrase, “a failure to plan is planning to fail.” And you probably rolled your eyes while reading it like I just did. Now, I’ve probably owned a journal or planner of some sort every year since I started schooling. How well did I keep up with it? Eh…it was a struggle. I can honestly say right now I have several blank weeks in my 2020 planner and it’s not the pandemic’s fault. (LOL) Although, I will say using a journal or planner to help monitor different aspects of my life has been more beneficial than a hassle.

I’m the classic “out of sight, out of mind” dreamer type of individual, and the consequences in adulthood are not very forgiving. It got to a point I could not afford (literally or figuratively) to not keep better track of elements in my life. Whether it be my thought patterns, fitness goals, budgets or even posting on here, tracking it tangibly on paper has been helpful to me.

So what systems work for me?

• Classic weekly/monthly planner

• A monthly budget overview sheet

• A bullet journal
  

Classic Weekly/Monthly Planner

In my old school weekly/monthly planner, I tend to put everything I have to do or places I’m going. At the start of the month, I try and plug in everything on my monthly spread like my work schedule, birthdays/holidays, trips, important meetings, deadlines, the usual. Then on the weekly spreads, I drill in more day to day tasks as well as those meetings and necessary errands. When I’m trying to map out how I’m going to get things done, it’s in here.

The planner I use:

Day Designer

Planner

Monthly Budget Spread

My Budget Printable. (Y’all I made this in Google Docs, easy-peasy.)

As I explained my personality before, you can likely guess that doesn’t lend itself well to budgeting. The bright side is I like to preserve my independence to dream, which means I’m very debt-averse and dislike being completely broke. To achieve that, I had to start looking at my money as it flows in and out. I dislike sitting in front of a spreadsheet (sorry, not sorry), so I made a printable customized to me that includes the categories I need. I sit down at the beginning of every month and plug in debt totals (car and cards), income, regular expenses, and so on. It’s made things much less daunting, and I’m no longer afraid to peek at my account balances because if I’m sticking with the plan stuff doesn’t go as off the rails.

Bullet Journal

Lastly, I love my bullet journal! I started it a few years ago. According to Good Housekeeping, the method was created by Ryder Carroll. “Equal parts day planner, diary, and written meditation, bullet journaling turns the chaos of coordinating your life into a streamlined system that helps you be more productive and reach your personal and professional goals,” the article explains. It’s a major catch-all for me. What I love about it is the fact that it grows with me. I add to it based on what I need in that moment or in that month. There are some pages I create monthly, but the rest is truly up to me. Using my bullet journal is also therapeutic, not only when I free-write, but while doodling to create some of my spreads as well. I pull out my markers, pens, stickers and go to town!

Some spreads I like:

• Monthly wins. At the end of each month write a few lines about what went really well for you to not only reflect then, but to look back over throughout the year.

• Wellness wheel. This is new for me, but it’s been helpful to make sure I’m taking care of my life in a more holistic way and not neglecting elements of myself.

• Travel funds. I like creating spreads for upcoming trips to help me breakdown costs into bite size chunks.

• Fitness/health tracker. Mark off how much water you’re taking in every week or how many nights you sleep more than eight hours. Whatever you need to focus on.

• Quotes. Is there a quote that really sticks out to you right now? Put it in your journal with some fun lettering to look back on and inspire you.

*Bonus* Vision Board

I used to do the larger scale vision boards with the magazine clips, glue, the whole nine. I’ve also made one on my Pinterest account. However, I realized I didn’t have a good place to display it for frequent viewing. This year, I decided to put my vision board in my bullet journal. I have four pages dedicated to my 2020 vision. I carry this around, so it’s much easier to look at on a regular basis and visualize. Check it out on my IG post.

I hope hearing how I journal and plan encourages you to pick up your pen and pad to keep your life together in these uncertain times. Feel free to send me pictures to show off how you plan! Tag #HeyBrittPlans and my IG account on your post.

Plan and Prosper,

Britt

Hot Girls' Guide to Early Retirement (A Black Love Post)

Trigger Warning: It’s a lovey-dovey post.

Growing up I was really back and forth on if the married and family life was for me. Like most young adults in the US, I felt the effects of high divorce rates in generations' past. Witnessing that level of dysfunction honestly had me cool on the whole concept for a while. And believe me the hook-up culture and situationship-laced reality of today by no means created a brighter outlook. So what was a young Black woman to do?

In my case, I focused on the somewhat controllable—the grind. As a teen, Jesus and reality TV was all I needed. Once I graduated high school it was mission critical to secure the degrees, secure the bag. (Boy, oh boy, that’s a gag. Post for another time.). That’s really what people around me were coaching me to do. Stay young and unattached so I can move full steam into my dreams. And that’s what I did. I did the school thing, began my career, started traveling and brunching it up. I got comfortable answering to just myself, my God and my bank account.

Now, there was some scorn and bitterness along the way. I mean, in my mind I was a reasonably successful woman. As folks who knew me would say, ”Guys should be lined up and falling at your feet.“ WRONG! They weren’t. Phone was dry; DMs deserted. I digress. And after the last ordeal of having my time wasted, I walled up and it was the best decision. I needed to work on me. Hype myself up again. Be content in being alone with myself. It wasn’t until I arrived at that contentment, I could intentionally and carefully open my heart back up. It was seeing a partner/companion as someone who adds value to my whole life, but wasn’t my whole life.

When I started dating my now Boo-Thang, my mental about it was so different than before. I was excited, but I wasn’t obsessing and stressing about every little thing like before. I didn’t overthink it because if it didn’t work out being single again didn’t feel like a failure because that life was still lit—and Hot Girl Summer was approaching. I had gotten clear about the type of things that didn’t serve me in a relationship (romantic or not), and was fine with standing on it. Thankfully, I found someone who had also become super comfortable with their authentic self and presented that to me from day one.

What’s even crazier, he was saying and doing the things that I desired from the reflections of my time alone without me ever prompting them. He was slowly ticking things off my realistic and internalized list in the required and optional categories. Also, going into this more centered allowed for the most open communication I’ve ever had in this type of relationship. That’s what self-work and healing looks like. No games, no BS. You rocking with me or nah? Are we still learning each other and growing together? For sure! The difference is it’s not forced or one-sided. It truly feels like a partnership, and that’s the core of what I want. If any of this resonated with you, here’s a few things I recommend to prepare your mind to go from “Nice for What” to “Best Part”:

1. Spend some time single and not dating/entangled/fill in the blank by choice.

2. Learn the vibes you need around to be your best self whether it’s romantic or not.

3. Figure out if you actually want a relationship or if it’s the pressure from around you.

4. Get out the house. Unless, you only want a boo who does food delivery (no shade).

5. Entertain in-person conversations with anyone. (So helpful to build openness and confidence.)

6. Work on what you bring. It’s hard to ask for what you don’t even have together.

7. Speak a healthy relationship over your life when you’re truly ready.

8. Set a clear intention for the value you want a partner to add.

9. Appreciate all the ways your friends already show up for you. (If they don’t, start there.)

10. Plan out what happens if the partner never comes and reach a level of self-acceptance.

Last but certainly not least, if you loved these photos all credit goes to this week’s #BrittBuysBlack spotlight, SnapsxStyles Photography! Brittany Marcus a.k.a. BSquared and I have been friends since undergrad and she’s truly honing her craft as a photographer to add to her existing media services portfolio. If you’re in the Central Indiana area, get with her swiftly!

Britt Buys Black: The Social Chef Spices Collective

What’s you favorite part about traveling? Whether it be to a new neighborhood in your city or a new country to explore, what excites you about that experience? Hands down one of my favorite elements of new adventures would be the food! Let me be clear, it’ the LOCAL food for me. If it’s got more than ten locations, then I feel some type of way. I want to go where the working folks eat on a regular or as a hometown splurge. Yeah, yeah, chic decor and ambiance is nice, but sometimes I don’t want a photo op. I want the food to do all the talking. I want to taste the local flavors, try the signature dishes and eat the homegrown/raised ingredients.

Brittany Stewart and I on our last adventure to the beaches of Tulum.

My dear friend Brittany (not speaking in third-person), shares my sentiments for adventure through cuisine. She is the mastermind behind The Social Chef. An avid traveler and foodie herself, Brittany blogs about her experiences in different locations and most importantly captures the wonderful flavors you must try while you’re there. We both lamented that we had to lighten our travel load this year due to the pandemic—although, she has still found a way to safely escape a time or two. The other way that she’s adapted to this new normal is through her other passion for cooking. In September, she launched her first product line under the brand called Social Spices Collective. In her own words this line is:

Taking the pure essence of flavors found in various countries and making them available in your own kitchen. This six-seasoning spice line was curated using spices featured in dishes from all over the world. I had the pleasure to work with chef’s and locals from Peru, Cuba, Mexico, and Ghana to bring these flavors to life in each bottle. - Brittany S., The Social Chef

Now, if you’ve been following along you know that over the last year my boyfriend and I have been throwing down more in the kitchen as a wonderful way to bond and explore our own culinary talents. In support, I ordered the two debut spices of the line, the Jardin and Sea Imports. We did a simple meal prep of grilled salmon, broccoli and wild rice using both of these spices.

Overall, we really enjoyed the flavor from these blends. Now, something that I love is that these are not just salt with some herbs in it. I’m trying to be more conscious with what I’m putting in my body and that includes salt intake. I would suggest still using a little salt in your dishes you create with these spices, but I felt relief in knowing that I could combine these with other seasonings or add salt to taste without the concern of going overboard or overpowering these spice blends.

Jardin: This is the veggie seasoning, and boy does it pack in a flavor! We used this on the broccoli we steamed and it was quite zesty and delicious. It gave a bold taste that reminded me of summer. We added the seasonings to the butter and water before we put in the veggies and then sprinkled more on top before steaming.

Seafood Imports: This is a really nice blend, the grilling kind of took control so I know to use more the next time or make sure I extend my marinating, but you really don’t need to add anything else to this. My boyfriend prefers a more salty profile for meats so you may want to toss in a little more, but it was perfect for me. I used it again for shrimp alfredo and we were both pleased with how it came out.

Now you are in luck because this month she’s just announced the third spice blend of the collection, the Inca. It’s inspired by the flavors of Peru, and I can’t wait to get my hands on a bottle. I haven’t had too many Peruvian dishes so I’m excited to explore through the first dish I make with it. Grab your bottles today! Sign up for her email list to get 10 percent off your first order. She’ll also keep you updated on sales, pop-up events using her spices and neat travel tips!

Follow The Social Chef on social media as well to stay up to date with Brittany’s blog, product releases and travel inspiration!

When it All Falls Down, Go to Therapy Sis!

If 2020 hasn’t taught you this yet let me try it out. YOU. NEED. TO. PRIORITIZE. YOUR. MENTAL. HEALTH. I’m done yelling at you now. I’m only doing it out of love and respect for your well-being. Between the pandemic, identifying as a Black woman in America, political and economical instability, things have been a constant dumpster fire to cope with. One of the best decisions I made this year despite all of that was finally getting therapy.

Let me take this back a little bit. In high school, I had the plan of going to college to become a child/adolescent psychologist. I wanted to help little Black girls escape the narratives they see in the media and become confident enough in themselves to keep doing the “right thing.” I spent four years of undergrad studying theories of development, counseling, behavior change, you name it. However, I had never seen a mental health professional myself. I was constantly bombarded with messages about destigmatization, yet somehow I couldn’t bring myself to sit in the chair. Wild, huh? Even as I progressed into graduate school (switched to education), I was still a proponent of mental health care, but struggled terribly to recognize the severity of my own need to be in care—and that got ugly. I kind of let time take care of some things (mostly breakdowns/failures), removed myself from some environments and went on a sober journey. Those things did work, but I think it only got me back to a level of stability. Mentally, I was by no means thriving or really getting to the root of my undoing.

Austin Chan/Unsplash
Neon Sign that reads, “This is the sign you’ve been looking for.”

After grad school, I still cycled through some negative habits, anxious thoughts and depressive moods. I just got better at catching them earlier to intervene with what methods I did know how to deploy. To my benefit, I had a support system that also included folks trained on mental health that I allowed to still excuse myself from formally seeing a professional. The end of 2019 going into 2020 was probably the best I’ve felt consistently, but COVID entered the scene and it was a game-changer. Now the pandemic itself, like I’ve mentioned in past blogs started off therapeutic because I finally sat down somewhere. Although, it made me more aware there were still things I needed to work through that were holding me back in pursuing all of my desires, especially around career. I had webinar, printable, and mastermind’d myself to death with little to show for it. So I finally sought out therapy to help me get out of my own way because it was becoming painfully clear it was a mindset issue.

Luckily, I found someone relatively quickly who reflected my identities through a mutual friend, but don’t let the search intimidate you. Use databases and ask for recommendations. Be ok with maybe not liking the first one you try and going to someone else. If you think you need support, you probably already needed it a month ago. Just make the appointment. Convenience was my issue, and tele-health has changed the game—and removed my excuses.

Two months in, I can honestly say I’ve noticed the progress in myself and better understanding of how my mind works by having someone help me interrogate my thoughts. It’s allowed me to unpack some traumatic events and reflect on where I picked up some unhelpful beliefs about myself. Plus, she keeps me accountable to my journey and ultimate goal. I am moving at a better pace towards the career and business goals I have for myself, and it’s because I’m learning to believe I can achieve those things again despite the missteps along the way. Finally, this is preventative care because fall/winter is my aesthetic season but it consistently ravishes my mental health and has nurtured some of my worst episodes.

This can still be your year, but remember, “How you gon’ win if you ain’t right within?”

Peace,

Britt