Stopping Birth Control, Beginning Fertility Awareness Method

First things first, this is not a mommy diary. No shade, but this is still a contraceptive-focused journey. I decided that I wanted to go a more natural route for birth control, and also commit to really learning my body for the long-term. I’m very new to this, so I have by no means perfected this. I just want to share my story. Let’s get into it.

Background

I started birth control (BC) in my late twenties to remain baby-free. Fortunately, I have pretty predictable cycles. I experience pain and discomfort that I’ve just managed since day one with OTC medicines. I was on my BC for almost two years and I didn’t notice any real issues, but also didn’t get much cycle relief. Everything was chill until those final few months before I quit the first time. I noticed that I was experiencing more frequently allergic reactions and unexplained inflammation than I had before. One reaction was so bad that I needed to rush to urgent care in the wee hours of the morning because I was in so much pain. I also had begun experiencing more serious issues with my vision. Come to find out I had retinal detachment, but things had definitely accelerated in a short span of months. That was it, I was over it. I stopped wearing my patches cold turkey (in the midst of a celibate engagement).

Fast forward, I decided to give it another go because unfortunately I’m not really wowed by the other longer-term options available, and daily anything is not for me. My inflammation came back more than I had experienced since stopping the first time. I wasn’t playing with it.

That led me to explore more about cycle tracking. I had heard a little bit about the fertility awareness method (FAM) in the past, but again, didn’t trust my own discipline at the time. Faced with no other options medically I felt comfortable with, I started buying books. Here’s my current list of FAM / menstrual cycle reads:

• The Fifth Vital Sign

• Beyond the Pill

• In the FLO

Not only have these books opened my eyes about a new form of birth control, but honestly have highlighted how little I knew previously about my own reproductive system. I didn’t fail health class or even college-level human biology, but it’s clear not enough time is spent on educating ovary-owners about what is happening. And also, what is very much in our control. We do not have to just sit around every month and just take it.

I recommend starting with the first book and buying her companion workbook to start tracking.* Even if you’re not ready to stop your BC yet, you can use it to get more acquainted with the factory down there. I’ve realized that I’m probably missing key nutrients. It’s past time to look into pelvic floor therapy. Plus, tracking what’s going on there is not that hard or disruptive to daily life. The book points out we’re conditioned to fear getting pregnant the whole month when it’s normally only a weeklong chance. We also neglect how the other stages of our cycle impact or are impacted by our daily living.

The Journey So Far…

I’m one full cycle into tracking (period to period), and I’m not pregnant. (LOL) No, but really, I’m paying a lot better attention to how my body feels throughout the month and what that might mean. Am I hydrated enough? Do I need to adjust my vitamins/supplements? Am I getting enough sleep? Which ovary is ovulating this month? Do we need to put a pause on bedroom activities? I’m still battling random inflammation, so this is the first step to determining what’s wrong and getting my body back in balance. I’m just grateful that I have a better idea of what the heck is going on and the nerd me actually thinks it’s pretty cool. I’m eager to even looking more into productivity planning and my cycle. More on this through one of my go to IG accounts @Berrionlberry.*

I’ll keep y’all posted, but first step is to buy and read at least one of those books. Then, start tracking what you notice even if you need your BC to help with other symptoms right now. I cannot give medical advice, but stopping cold when you’re using it for multiple purposes could backfire. Start with your doctor, even if they may not be team FAM. Also, for those considering using this as BC, emergency contraceptives and non-hormonal options exist. Don’t play yourself please! (LOL)

Get in the flow!

*This post is not endorsed by or affiliated with this business/coach/author just something I’ve found on the journey.

What Fuels Your Drive to Escape?

You know there’s that saying, “Live a life you don’t need a vacation from.” Well, much easier said than done. I too, don’t dream of labor. However, the reality is day to day life comes with a matching set of challenges and trials. It’s natural to want to go away and grab some air sometimes. Suspend reality for even just a day.

Me enjoying the beautiful pink sand beaches of Bermuda!

Now some folks go about that a variety of different ways. Sometimes it’s hobbies, could be foods/substances (be real careful with that) or even just reality tv marathons. We all have our things. Mine happen to be travel, brunch, Target and sitting by bodies of water. Travel reigns supreme.

When I travel, I get to pull myself out of my environment. I’m someone who fixates on what’s right in front of me (school, work, business, friends/family, etc), and I’m still working on creating stronger boundaries in those realms to maintain my serenity and energy. Until then, hopping on a plane to pause my anxiety works for me. Travel is an activity that’s substantial enough for me to actually become fully distracted to tap into the things that are innately in me: creativity, exploration, risk and so on. It tends to pull me out of the fog I’m in to look at the beauty of new scenery, new people, new ways of being. And I love learning! Every trip is a study tour for me. I’m hitting museums, chatting up locals, listening to local music, you name it. That’s given me a deeper skillset and appreciation for my very people-based work, and it shoots a dose of humanity in my veins.

Watching the bakers make turtle shaped bread at Boudin Sourdough Bakery & Cafe in San Francisco.

What I especially love about international travel is it allows me greater opportunity to completely unplug. No wifi, no problems. Now, that was definitely an adjustment at first. My best friend chastised me often for how much I was trying to find a signal to see IG, but I’m getting better. There is beauty in no cell service. I wish I could throw my phone in the White River today and never look back. I don’t dream of constant accessibility for contact, but it’s so much harder to practice at home. Won’t be reached and can’t be reached send two very different messages.

Travel and these other escapism practices suspend the momentum of our lives. So many of us live in breakneck pace environments. It feels good to just jump out of that and just be. And that matters even more when we’re not pleased about the direction the momentum is currently going. I love going into a reflective space on my travels to help me do a mindset reset before I return. It sets the perfect stage to cancel the noise of the hustle and bustle. I needed to get away for some reason or another, so how can I make sure I tackle it when I get back? That’s a powerful way to flex your moments of escape. Doesn’t always have to be that way, but if you’re constantly escaping without checking in with yourself you likely aren’t facing what’s wrong with your actual life. That’s when sweet escapes can turn into something more destructive.

Me blissfully protecting my peace on the peaceful Tulum Beach.

So here are some questions I recommend the next time you want to get away:

Check out the masterclass! Follow both of us on IG to learn about future sessions!

• What am I trying to escape or avoid?

• How can I create better boundaries in my everyday life?

• Do I like the pace/direction my life is going? What would a shift look like?

• What does a life I don’t need a escape from look life?

• Are there things I can do to make my everyday experience more enjoyable?

Do you know where your next escape will be? Asking for myself! lol

If you are looking for your next escape, I recommend checking out the replay of the masterclass session I sponsored in partnership with Brittany Stewart from The Social Chef. We talk how to find flights on a budget domestically and internationally. This can be found here for purchase at a low rate. You’ll definitely make it back in all the savings!

Escape Responsibly,

Britt

When it All Falls Down, Go to Therapy Sis!

If 2020 hasn’t taught you this yet let me try it out. YOU. NEED. TO. PRIORITIZE. YOUR. MENTAL. HEALTH. I’m done yelling at you now. I’m only doing it out of love and respect for your well-being. Between the pandemic, identifying as a Black woman in America, political and economical instability, things have been a constant dumpster fire to cope with. One of the best decisions I made this year despite all of that was finally getting therapy.

Let me take this back a little bit. In high school, I had the plan of going to college to become a child/adolescent psychologist. I wanted to help little Black girls escape the narratives they see in the media and become confident enough in themselves to keep doing the “right thing.” I spent four years of undergrad studying theories of development, counseling, behavior change, you name it. However, I had never seen a mental health professional myself. I was constantly bombarded with messages about destigmatization, yet somehow I couldn’t bring myself to sit in the chair. Wild, huh? Even as I progressed into graduate school (switched to education), I was still a proponent of mental health care, but struggled terribly to recognize the severity of my own need to be in care—and that got ugly. I kind of let time take care of some things (mostly breakdowns/failures), removed myself from some environments and went on a sober journey. Those things did work, but I think it only got me back to a level of stability. Mentally, I was by no means thriving or really getting to the root of my undoing.

Austin Chan/Unsplash
Neon Sign that reads, “This is the sign you’ve been looking for.”

After grad school, I still cycled through some negative habits, anxious thoughts and depressive moods. I just got better at catching them earlier to intervene with what methods I did know how to deploy. To my benefit, I had a support system that also included folks trained on mental health that I allowed to still excuse myself from formally seeing a professional. The end of 2019 going into 2020 was probably the best I’ve felt consistently, but COVID entered the scene and it was a game-changer. Now the pandemic itself, like I’ve mentioned in past blogs started off therapeutic because I finally sat down somewhere. Although, it made me more aware there were still things I needed to work through that were holding me back in pursuing all of my desires, especially around career. I had webinar, printable, and mastermind’d myself to death with little to show for it. So I finally sought out therapy to help me get out of my own way because it was becoming painfully clear it was a mindset issue.

Luckily, I found someone relatively quickly who reflected my identities through a mutual friend, but don’t let the search intimidate you. Use databases and ask for recommendations. Be ok with maybe not liking the first one you try and going to someone else. If you think you need support, you probably already needed it a month ago. Just make the appointment. Convenience was my issue, and tele-health has changed the game—and removed my excuses.

Two months in, I can honestly say I’ve noticed the progress in myself and better understanding of how my mind works by having someone help me interrogate my thoughts. It’s allowed me to unpack some traumatic events and reflect on where I picked up some unhelpful beliefs about myself. Plus, she keeps me accountable to my journey and ultimate goal. I am moving at a better pace towards the career and business goals I have for myself, and it’s because I’m learning to believe I can achieve those things again despite the missteps along the way. Finally, this is preventative care because fall/winter is my aesthetic season but it consistently ravishes my mental health and has nurtured some of my worst episodes.

This can still be your year, but remember, “How you gon’ win if you ain’t right within?”

Peace,

Britt