Stopping Birth Control, Beginning Fertility Awareness Method

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First things first, this is not a mommy diary. No shade, but this is still a contraceptive-focused journey. I decided that I wanted to go a more natural route for birth control, and also commit to really learning my body for the long-term. I’m very new to this, so I have by no means perfected this. I just want to share my story. Let’s get into it.

Background

I started birth control (BC) in my late twenties to remain baby-free. Fortunately, I have pretty predictable cycles. I experience pain and discomfort that I’ve just managed since day one with OTC medicines. I was on my BC for almost two years and I didn’t notice any real issues, but also didn’t get much cycle relief. Everything was chill until those final few months before I quit the first time. I noticed that I was experiencing more frequently allergic reactions and unexplained inflammation than I had before. One reaction was so bad that I needed to rush to urgent care in the wee hours of the morning because I was in so much pain. I also had begun experiencing more serious issues with my vision. Come to find out I had retinal detachment, but things had definitely accelerated in a short span of months. That was it, I was over it. I stopped wearing my patches cold turkey (in the midst of a celibate engagement).

Fast forward, I decided to give it another go because unfortunately I’m not really wowed by the other longer-term options available, and daily anything is not for me. My inflammation came back more than I had experienced since stopping the first time. I wasn’t playing with it.

That led me to explore more about cycle tracking. I had heard a little bit about the fertility awareness method (FAM) in the past, but again, didn’t trust my own discipline at the time. Faced with no other options medically I felt comfortable with, I started buying books. Here’s my current list of FAM / menstrual cycle reads:

Not only have these books opened my eyes about a new form of birth control, but honestly have highlighted how little I knew previously about my own reproductive system. I didn’t fail health class or even college-level human biology, but it’s clear not enough time is spent on educating ovary-owners about what is happening. And also, what is very much in our control. We do not have to just sit around every month and just take it.

I recommend starting with the first book and buying her companion workbook to start tracking.* Even if you’re not ready to stop your BC yet, you can use it to get more acquainted with the factory down there. I’ve realized that I’m probably missing key nutrients. It’s past time to look into pelvic floor therapy. Plus, tracking what’s going on there is not that hard or disruptive to daily life. The book points out we’re conditioned to fear getting pregnant the whole month when it’s normally only a weeklong chance. We also neglect how the other stages of our cycle impact or are impacted by our daily living.

The Journey So Far…

I’m one full cycle into tracking (period to period), and I’m not pregnant. (LOL) No, but really, I’m paying a lot better attention to how my body feels throughout the month and what that might mean. Am I hydrated enough? Do I need to adjust my vitamins/supplements? Am I getting enough sleep? Which ovary is ovulating this month? Do we need to put a pause on bedroom activities? I’m still battling random inflammation, so this is the first step to determining what’s wrong and getting my body back in balance. I’m just grateful that I have a better idea of what the heck is going on and the nerd me actually thinks it’s pretty cool. I’m eager to even looking more into productivity planning and my cycle. More on this through one of my go to IG accounts @Berrionlberry.*

I’ll keep y’all posted, but first step is to buy and read at least one of those books. Then, start tracking what you notice even if you need your BC to help with other symptoms right now. I cannot give medical advice, but stopping cold when you’re using it for multiple purposes could backfire. Start with your doctor, even if they may not be team FAM. Also, for those considering using this as BC, emergency contraceptives and non-hormonal options exist. Don’t play yourself please! (LOL)

Get in the flow!

*This post is not endorsed by or affiliated with this business/coach/author just something I’ve found on the journey.

What Fuels Your Drive to Escape?

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You know there’s that saying, “Live a life you don’t need a vacation from.” Well, much easier said than done. I too, don’t dream of labor. However, the reality is day to day life comes with a matching set of challenges and trials. It’s natural to want to go away and grab some air sometimes. Suspend reality for even just a day.

Me enjoying the beautiful pink sand beaches of Bermuda!

Me enjoying the beautiful pink sand beaches of Bermuda!

Now some folks go about that a variety of different ways. Sometimes it’s hobbies, could be foods/substances (be real careful with that) or even just reality tv marathons. We all have our things. Mine happen to be travel, brunch, Target and sitting by bodies of water. Travel reigns supreme.

When I travel, I get to pull myself out of my environment. I’m someone who fixates on what’s right in front of me (school, work, business, friends/family, etc), and I’m still working on creating stronger boundaries in those realms to maintain my serenity and energy. Until then, hopping on a plane to pause my anxiety works for me. Travel is an activity that’s substantial enough for me to actually become fully distracted to tap into the things that are innately in me: creativity, exploration, risk and so on. It tends to pull me out of the fog I’m in to look at the beauty of new scenery, new people, new ways of being. And I love learning! Every trip is a study tour for me. I’m hitting museums, chatting up locals, listening to local music, you name it. That’s given me a deeper skillset and appreciation for my very people-based work, and it shoots a dose of humanity in my veins.

Watching the bakers make turtle shaped bread at Boudin Sourdough Bakery & Cafe in San Francisco.

Watching the bakers make turtle shaped bread at Boudin Sourdough Bakery & Cafe in San Francisco.

What I especially love about international travel is it allows me greater opportunity to completely unplug. No wifi, no problems. Now, that was definitely an adjustment at first. My best friend chastised me often for how much I was trying to find a signal to see IG, but I’m getting better. There is beauty in no cell service. I wish I could throw my phone in the White River today and never look back. I don’t dream of constant accessibility for contact, but it’s so much harder to practice at home. Won’t be reached and can’t be reached send two very different messages.

Travel and these other escapism practices suspend the momentum of our lives. So many of us live in breakneck pace environments. It feels good to just jump out of that and just be. And that matters even more when we’re not pleased about the direction the momentum is currently going. I love going into a reflective space on my travels to help me do a mindset reset before I return. It sets the perfect stage to cancel the noise of the hustle and bustle. I needed to get away for some reason or another, so how can I make sure I tackle it when I get back? That’s a powerful way to flex your moments of escape. Doesn’t always have to be that way, but if you’re constantly escaping without checking in with yourself you likely aren’t facing what’s wrong with your actual life. That’s when sweet escapes can turn into something more destructive.

Me blissfully protecting my peace on the peaceful Tulum Beach.

Me blissfully protecting my peace on the peaceful Tulum Beach.

So here are some questions I recommend the next time you want to get away:

Check out the masterclass! Follow both of us on IG to learn about future sessions!

Check out the masterclass! Follow both of us on IG to learn about future sessions!

  • What am I trying to escape or avoid?

  • How can I create better boundaries in my everyday life?

  • Do I like the pace/direction my life is going? What would a shift look like?

  • What does a life I don’t need a escape from look life?

  • Are there things I can do to make my everyday experience more enjoyable?

Do you know where your next escape will be? Asking for myself! lol

If you are looking for your next escape, I recommend checking out the replay of the masterclass session I sponsored in partnership with Brittany Stewart from The Social Chef. We talk how to find flights on a budget domestically and internationally. This can be found here for purchase at a low rate. You’ll definitely make it back in all the savings!

Escape Responsibly,

Britt


For Natural Girls Who've Considered Throwing Back on The Creamy Crack

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Dear Naturalista in Distress,

I see you. I hear you. I’ve been you. Put those clippers down you don’t know how to use. Put that perm back in the box. For the love of all that is holy, take that protective style down that’s been in way too long. In a world that constantly tries to tame our features, especially our hair, I urge you to travel take the road of self-compassion and discovery. And most of all, ask for some help!

Growing up, getting my hair done was the bane of my existence. From the soapy eyes, day long sessions, and subsequent aches and pains from perpetual stillness. It was a mess. To top it off, as lovingly as my mom tried to provide care, we didn’t share the same texture and her old school tricks were no weapon for my strong tresses. I prefer to hide most of my childhood photos from three to ten-years-old. The dry damaged ends, lopsided pigtails, and undeveloped texture took a toll on my crown.

At age nine, I was finally old enough to get a perm. It’s own unique rite of passage, although it ushered in a new attack. Over-processing, scalp burns, and increased heat use sent my hair growth cycle on a constant roller coaster of thriving and deprivation. Plus, most of this was under the care of paraprofessionals, AKA the beauty school. And inevitably every year, I had to get a restart bob and try it again.

As I entered college, the return to natural movement was in full swing. I began my transition with quarterly perms, but relatively still poor at-home care inbetween. Still using products full of things I couldn’t pronounce and not getting regular trims. However, thanks to YouTube University I was finally getting schooled on the knowledge that was long overdue to treat my crown with the opulence it deserved. Deep conditioning treatments, natural ingredients, real protective styles.

The summer before I went to graduate school, I finally decided to take the plunge….the BIG CHOP. I loved that little cut too—until the humidity set in (LOL). While I was leveling up my academic knowledge, I simultaneously began to relearn what my hair actually looked like, and what it needed to strive. Slowly but surely that TWA returned to shoulder length. My length retention still needed some work, but for once I loved MY hair in it’s own state.

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June 2020

The cut that restarted my journey.

Fast forward to professional life, I was still coasting along brushing my shoulders. I was five-years natural at this point and resolved my hair would never touch my back, so why bother. I was wearing wigs, weaves and more to get that “look.” Might as well chop it all off again so I didn’t have to do these twist downs because your girl still can’t braid. But then the pandemic hit, desperate and defeated I decided I was going to do what should have done before, entrust my haircare with the professionals. Now, I acknowledge I had hit a level of privilege to afford regular care from a professional, but honestly if I lost it all I’d still hustle my way to seeing my stylists. And here’s why….

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May 2021

This is almost one year’s worth of growth! Bra strap, here we come!!

 

In less than ONE year, I went from scraggly shoulder length to almost brushing my BRA STRAP. (There is a God!) This is the longest my hair has been EVER. No bull. My primary stylist told me in our first meeting, my hair should have been much longer as long as I’ve been natural and she proved it. (More about her in the next blog.) The other benefit is my in-between maintenance has improved because I don’t want to let her down when I get back in the chair (CRINE). And, I think I’ve finally found my staple products.

I say all of this to say, lovelies, stay the course. Most importantly, make healthy hair in general a priority. If you do return to the creamy crack, please use a professional and get your routine together because the growth is for the patient and attentive. And if you shave it off, keep it lined up, Sis! All in all, be kind to your crown queen.

Let Yooo SOUL GLO!

Britt

2020 Reflections and Gratitude

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Hello There!

Authenticating Beauty Brittany Collins

I know, I know. Where in the world have I been? (Y’all can always keep up with me on IG, though.) I’m still adjusting to blogging while full-time working/adulting. However, I’m not throwing in the towel. I’m committed to this endeavor because I believe in the platform I’m trying to create and I owe it to myself not to abandon this vision. I’ve done that for far too long. Which is a great segue into this post!

How could you not learn during this anomaly of a year? It truly showcased the worst of us and best of us simultaneously. The world events constantly put our lives and routines in upheaval causing us to constantly pivot and reassess in ways we haven’t before. So what did I learn from the infamous 2020?

  1. Save yourself.

    I understand that this phrase may throw the collectivists into a tizzy, but I’ve got to keep it real. We experienced a year with such a deficit in leadership that we truly had to lead ourselves in a lot of ways to cope and survive. That’s not only physically, but mentally, financially, socially, professionally, etc. I got a more intimate view of what I need to be ok, and as long as I’m doing everything in my power to minimize harm to others I’m going to do what I need to do, period.

  2. I’ve got food at home.

    In all seriousness, I am a spender over a saver, but the lockdown time showed me how much money could remain in my account if I stay in the house. I’m blessed to have not missed income in 2020, but oh how I was mismanaging it before the pandemic. It was the hard reset I needed to think more long-term about my bag and how I’m storing up for the uncertain future. Plus, cooking is lit and I’m so glad I got spend more time doing an activity I neglected with someone I love.

  3. Ask for help, and invest in your problems.

    I kept putting off getting the help in areas I was severely struggling before the pandemic. I was doing so many other things to get by. (Cue Solange’s “Cranes in the Sky”) Last spring I hit the end of the rope. I got a therapist (one of my best 2020 decisions) who really helped me sort out the barriers in my mindset. After working with her (Black womxn therapist matter!), I then got to a place where I can better receive help from others, so then I hired a coach. And best believe, I’m about to pay some more folx to help with even more things this year.

  4. Leap because tomorrow is not promised.

    The passage says, “life is but a vapor” and boy oh boy did that concept get driven home. We don’t know our expiration date, so we might as well stop wasting time and get after it. Whatever your “it” is, do “it”. Among friends I joked that last year’s word should have been “audacity” because folx were going for it last year even if it was loud and wrong. And for better or for worse they achieved what they set out to do.

  5. Shake up your routine.

    If your life went uninterrupted last year I encourage you to write a blog, shoot a video or do a press release about it because “how Sway?” So many of my plans changed. Vision board—shredded it. Weekly planner—tossed aside. Yet still, I’m grateful because as I reflect now I realize how many things I was doing in a compulsory fashion, not out of true passion or even inclination. I had got sucked in to these things as a consequence of my serial busyness, and never off-loaded it. In fact, even had the nerve to double down on some of this ish I really didn’t want to do.

  6. The relationships are key.

    Whether it was state sanctioned violence, ongoing crime in my city or COVID, I was constantly worried about my loved ones. People I know didn’t make it to 2021. That really humbled me and helped me work on taking the time for the relationships I value in my life because you just never know. I called people more, I tried to be strategic about visits and video calls. I was more understanding and compassionate when friction arose. I showed up for more celebrations (virtually). I took time to be still and realize I missed my people and leaned into it including those I had lost prior to and during 2020.

    All in all, I’m grateful to be alive and reasonable well. I’m incredibly grateful for what 2020 taught me. I’m grateful to have my basic needs met. I’m grateful to those who are showing up for me and helping myself and others live their most authentic selves. And most of all, I’m grateful to each and everyone of you who skimmed, devoured, shared, like or commented on my posts last year. You are appreciated and I owe you my consistency in return for 2021.

    Until the next post my beautiful people!

    Britt