When it All Falls Down, Go to Therapy Sis!
If 2020 hasn’t taught you this yet let me try it out. YOU. NEED. TO. PRIORITIZE. YOUR. MENTAL. HEALTH. I’m done yelling at you now. I’m only doing it out of love and respect for your well-being. Between the pandemic, identifying as a Black woman in America, political and economical instability, things have been a constant dumpster fire to cope with. One of the best decisions I made this year despite all of that was finally getting therapy.
Let me take this back a little bit. In high school, I had the plan of going to college to become a child/adolescent psychologist. I wanted to help little Black girls escape the narratives they see in the media and become confident enough in themselves to keep doing the “right thing.” I spent four years of undergrad studying theories of development, counseling, behavior change, you name it. However, I had never seen a mental health professional myself. I was constantly bombarded with messages about destigmatization, yet somehow I couldn’t bring myself to sit in the chair. Wild, huh? Even as I progressed into graduate school (switched to education), I was still a proponent of mental health care, but struggled terribly to recognize the severity of my own need to be in care—and that got ugly. I kind of let time take care of some things (mostly breakdowns/failures), removed myself from some environments and went on a sober journey. Those things did work, but I think it only got me back to a level of stability. Mentally, I was by no means thriving or really getting to the root of my undoing.
Austin Chan/Unsplash
Neon Sign that reads, “This is the sign you’ve been looking for.”
After grad school, I still cycled through some negative habits, anxious thoughts and depressive moods. I just got better at catching them earlier to intervene with what methods I did know how to deploy. To my benefit, I had a support system that also included folks trained on mental health that I allowed to still excuse myself from formally seeing a professional. The end of 2019 going into 2020 was probably the best I’ve felt consistently, but COVID entered the scene and it was a game-changer. Now the pandemic itself, like I’ve mentioned in past blogs started off therapeutic because I finally sat down somewhere. Although, it made me more aware there were still things I needed to work through that were holding me back in pursuing all of my desires, especially around career. I had webinar, printable, and mastermind’d myself to death with little to show for it. So I finally sought out therapy to help me get out of my own way because it was becoming painfully clear it was a mindset issue.
Luckily, I found someone relatively quickly who reflected my identities through a mutual friend, but don’t let the search intimidate you. Use databases and ask for recommendations. Be ok with maybe not liking the first one you try and going to someone else. If you think you need support, you probably already needed it a month ago. Just make the appointment. Convenience was my issue, and tele-health has changed the game—and removed my excuses.
Two months in, I can honestly say I’ve noticed the progress in myself and better understanding of how my mind works by having someone help me interrogate my thoughts. It’s allowed me to unpack some traumatic events and reflect on where I picked up some unhelpful beliefs about myself. Plus, she keeps me accountable to my journey and ultimate goal. I am moving at a better pace towards the career and business goals I have for myself, and it’s because I’m learning to believe I can achieve those things again despite the missteps along the way. Finally, this is preventative care because fall/winter is my aesthetic season but it consistently ravishes my mental health and has nurtured some of my worst episodes.
This can still be your year, but remember, “How you gon’ win if you ain’t right within?”
Peace,