Finding Freedom: First Half of 2020 in Review
The irony was not lost on me as folks wished Happy Fourth in the midst of two pandemics. As a Black woman in the US, “liberty and justice for all” is still looking mighty relative to who you ask. However, I’m grateful for this long weekend to really rejuvenate and reflect on what finding my freedom looks like especially in 2020. The quest for racial justice will always be a constant as long as I’m in my brown skin and living in the USA, but I've realize as the country slowly reopens how quickly we can become re-enslaved to habits and culture that didn’t serve us in quarantine (and arguably wasn’t serving us prior to COVID-19). Here are a few ares I’m intentionally trying to reclaim my freedom and peace going into the second half of 2020.
Financial Freedom.
Spiritual Freedom.
Mental Freedom.
Financial Freedom
I’m high-key shocked and appalled at how quickly some of my spending habits returned as stores opened back up and I returned to work. Coffee shop runs, additional Target trips, event tickets, oh my! It was like money was just levitating out of my wallet and vanishing before my eyes. I fell off on my savings routine, stopped investing, got behind on tithes. What is wrong with me? Can anyone else relate? No wonder capitalism doesn’t want people staying at home. I started boosting the economy as soon as I began leaving the house more than twice a week.
Solutions: I’m reinstating money dates weekly (My business coach and colleague Kayley Robsham introduced me to this concept, learn more here). I’m going back to my hybrid remote schedule to keep me at home more. I’m going to pick up a side hustle this month to more aggressively stack and pay of expenses.
Spiritual Freedom
“Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19 (AMP)
I am a believer. A struggling one, but I’m trying. I really had a renewed focus on my walk prior to COVID-19 and as the stay at home began. I was listening to sermons almost everyday. Praying regularly. Focusing on inspirational music. I was even facilitating a book study (which I love as an educator). I lost touch, and as the racial unrest re-intensified I fell even more away from my relationship with God. I got distracted. Does this mean I want to ignore what’s happening in the world around me, of course not. I have to remember where my strength comes from and to tap into it intentionally and regularly if I want to maintain the fortitude needed to survive and thrive in mad world.
Solutions: I joined an accountability group that’s revived my spirit. I’m going back to daily sermons and worship music. I’m going to find a new book to study and teach. I’m getting my prayer group back together for Zoom calls. I’d like to finally put monthly sabbaths in place so I can truly spend hours meditating and focusing on God and His vision for my life.
Mental Freedom
The time in quarantine did wonders for slowing me down and quieting my mind. However, as I became stir crazy and eventually started going out and about again some of my old stressors have returned. Not to mention the racial battle fatigue that’s rearing it’s ugly head again. In the last two months, I shifted back to autopilot and watched the depression and anxiety creep back in and render me hopeless and exhausted at points. I let staying at home delay me from finding a therapist and intentional checking in with my full support system. Going back into my normal professional life, I started to drift back into feelings of imposter syndrome and worrying about doing enough/being enough. I think my Co-Star app told me to meditate weekly since May and I’ve ignored that suggestion each time because I didn’t feel like I had the time.
Solutions: I’m going to allow myself to take mental health days. I’m finding a therapist by the end of July. I’m honestly telling people when I’m not feeling the best. I’m identifying new affirmations to get me through the dark moments. I’m really going to implement sabbaths to re-center and focus mind, body and soul. I’m going to read things that have themes of Black Joy. I’m telling people when I’m not in the mood to educate.
Overall, the biggest thief of these things have been systematic oppression, hyper-productivity work culture, and capitalism. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, you have to figure out not only what the new normal looks life for you, but also how you’re going to maintain it or reverse-engineer your life to obtain it. I’ve seen firsthand how quickly you can get sucked back into bad business as usual.
Peace,